Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
