So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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