You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
