So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
