So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
