so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
