It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
