i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
