It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
