Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
