She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This is my gift to your gina
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
