Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i think i have herpe
just one?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
