I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
