Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
