I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
