So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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