dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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