i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
