Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
