Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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