come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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