new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
