Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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