Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
