Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
