oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
