She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
