so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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