I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
