I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize