I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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