I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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