I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
