if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
