I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
