you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
