There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
