I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
