Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
NoShamevember. You game?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
