OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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