going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize