I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
