Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So vagazzling was a success
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
