I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize