I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
