no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
