oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i believe in u and ur pee
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So. Much. Porn.
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