I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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