Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize