Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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