A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
