Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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