can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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