I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
