Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
birth control should be required to get into college
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
