I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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