btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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