I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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